One of the hardest experiences of my life was my divorce. Even now, years later, memories of that time can still sting. It felt like I was dealt a bad hand in a game that was rigged from the start—set up in a way that I was destined to lose.
For a long time, I caught myself thinking: “If only I knew…” or “If only I had…” But the truth is, at that moment, I didn’t know what I didn’t know. I was blindsided, navigating a world that had shifted beneath my feet, trying to make sense of the chaos and the pain.
I share this because there’s a lesson I want you to hold close:
Healing doesn’t mean the past stops hurting.
It doesn’t mean that memories of heartbreak, disappointment, or betrayal disappear. They may still rise up, uninvited, reminding you of what you endured. And that’s okay.
Healing means something deeper. It means the pain no longer controls you.
- You might still feel a sting when memories surface—but now, you breathe through it.
- You hold space for your emotions instead of running from them.
- You give yourself grace instead of guilt.
Healing is not about forgetting. It’s about learning to feel without falling apart, to remember without reliving, and to move forward with compassion for the version of you that once couldn’t.
It’s about recognizing that the person you were during your pain did the best she could with what she knew at the time. And now, you have the power to rise above it, to respond with wisdom instead of reaction, and to honor your own growth.
Every time you choose presence over pain, every time you allow yourself to feel without being consumed, every time you step into life with grace and intention—you win.
Because healing is not a destination. It’s a journey. A series of small victories. A choice, moment by moment, to move forward without being weighed down by what once was.
This is growth. This is healing.
This is your power.
💛 Choose presence. Choose compassion. Choose you.
Guided Reflection: Choosing Presence Over Pain 💛
Take 10–15 minutes to reflect on your own experiences and cultivate a sense of healing and presence.
1. Settle In
- Find a quiet space and sit comfortably.
- Take three deep, intentional breaths, letting your body relax and your mind settle.
2. Recall a Painful Memory
- Think of a moment from your past that still stirs emotion.
- Write down the memory briefly—without judgment, just the facts and feelings that arise.
3. Acknowledge Your Feelings
- List the emotions you feel when recalling this memory: sadness, anger, regret, fear, or others.
- Sit with them for a moment, allowing yourself to feel without trying to fix or push them away.
4. Offer Compassion to Your Past Self
- Write a note to the version of you who experienced that moment:
- “I see you. I honor your courage. You did the best you could.”
- Allow kindness and understanding to replace self-blame or guilt.
5. Shift to Presence
- Ask yourself: “What part of me can I bring fully into this present moment?”
- Write down one way you can honor yourself today, in alignment with your current growth and wisdom.
6. Close With Gratitude
- Identify one small thing in your life right now that brings you comfort, joy, or peace.
- Reflect on how far you’ve come and the strength you carry today.
✨ Tip: Repeat this exercise whenever past memories arise. Healing is a practice, not a one-time event. Each time you reflect with compassion and presence, you reclaim your power and strengthen your resilience.
Sacred & Seen 
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